authority

one of the things i am struggling with at work is authority. no, not really authority, but feeling like i am everyone's admin. i get ruffled when i feel like someone just dumps stuff on me because 'trace will do it'.

i have even opted to work from home on days no one else is in the office because i don't want to get stuck doing everyone else's work/errands/tasks that they didn't get to while they were in the office or can't do while they are out. and while i want to help, i don't get my own stuff done as a result.

however, i was struck yesterday by the responses of many people i'm around in that they just want to serve. they just want God's ministries to happen, they don't care who, how, etc. and i so desire that in my heart, too. it really helped with perspective.

may it be His way. i don't care where the lines are drawn. i just want to serve Him.

***

from the study guide: pilate spoke about jesus in three languages. when you speak of jesus, do you use worlds that best fit those you are speaking to?

WOW! great question!!!

***

are you sufficiently aware of biblical truth to see through the lies? this was another great question and right in context with what we talked about in bible study last week. one of our friends thinks that perhaps, no, he isn't. what a great reminder to not only steep yourself in His word, but to help others to do so as well.

what better way to win others to the kingdom than to be aware of traps they may have fallen into. and we will have the answers - the rope - that can help them out.

post conference

last week was our conference. our 2nd annual.

can i just say it is a lot of work to put on a conference? and tiring. i spent this week dragging by 9pm each night. and the awful repercussions of that is waking up before i intend to. aka not sleeping in.

jon was sick all of last week and i was pretty amazed that i did not get sick with him. but last night i had that all too familiar tickle in my throat and it is worse today. so i am putting on my cammies and getting into combat mode. i will fight this thing and i will triumph!

so, it is off to the supermarket i go to pick up battle supplies, then i will promptly come home, sit my butt on the couch and watch chick flicks until i'm better.

at least that's the plan i have for now.

the conference went well. we had more people attend than last year, but we still do not have buy-in from the church and it shows in attendance. our pastor's comments this year indicate we will have his backing and we plan to capitalize on that and make it an all-church effort next year.

we really do have the right idea, and so many things will improve with the help/support of the other ministries. and my involvement will decrease. it was officially announced in our department that was someone else would be taking over the major planning piece of this from now on. what a wonderful relief.

i will be praying about my participation and would like to ensure that it is aligned with my job, that it will be an extension of what i already do so that i am not overwhelmed, not doing someone else's work, and not trying to fit myself into a mold i was not made for. what that looks like right now is still a little fuzzy, but will most likely result in me finding volunteers to help staff the conference as well as putting together another 'worship experience'. i will probably also be involved in volunteer appreciation. it's what i do. but much more than that doesn't make sense for me to tackle.

fear

the last few days have been focused on pilate's encounter with the jews trying to persuade him to crucify jesus. the study guide indicates that fear of appearing not to be a friend of caesar pushed him into the 'crucify' camp. then it makes a leap and says "show God this week that your fear of unbelief in jesus is greater than your fear of man." and this troubles me.

seems that fear shouldn't be the reason we follow Him. (unless we are truly discussing the reverential fear that is reserved for God alone, but then it cannot become a matter of comparison to the fear of man thereby making that statement pointless anyway.)

the true motivation should be love, according to myself of course! God created us out of love, out of a desire for us to have a relationship with Him. why, then, would we not reciprocate the desire of that relationsip out of love? when you put fear into the mix, you tend to find yourself facing issues of rebellion and confinement. but not with love. love is freedom and optional. which is what makes it so beautiful when we truly exercise it.

when i face the Lord at the beginning of my eternity in His presence, i want Him to say, "you loved me." rather than "you feared me."

[on accident, while typing above i mispelled 'comparison'. and it made me consider how accurate my typo was: comparisin. how fitting to have the word sin in this word! how often to do we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others? or worse, comparing God to others or our idea of how we think God should be? sometimes i mess up good. :D]

hypocrisy

the jews would not enter the praetorium because it was the home of a gentile, and they did not want to become unclean and thereby disallow them from participating in the passover meal.

such hypocrisy. jesus himself told them they were like whitewashed tombs - beautiful on the outside, but inside they are full of dead men's bones.

..In the same way, on the outside you appear to peole as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness"

where in my life do i have hypocrisy and wickedness? what about me would jesus want to 'reveal and deal'? what actions can i take to avoid being a hypocrite?

it's sad that many people view christians as being hyprocrites. i think it is because we try to preach the very things we cannot live up to. perhaps we should be preaching about faith and grace!

but aside from how we are viewed by others, what in our hearts is a direct contradiction to what the Lord has asked of us? we are told to have love for others. we believe it and teach it, but do we exercise it? do we love others the way God has intended?

we are told to follow Him. we believe that, too, and also teach it. but do we follow? do we go with Him wherever He leads? or do we stop and veer when we don't want to continue or we think the road is going to be too difficult ahead?

do we stop looking at the grass on the other side of the fence, and focus on our own yards?.. oh the lawn maintenance that is needed!!

i know i struggle with this - i know there are times when i act as though the rules apply to everyone but myself and i make excuses as to why i should not have to be burdened with the rules at this time. but it is just an excuse. it is hypocrisy. it is a whitewashed exterior.

i do not want to be full of dead men's bones.

denied

arneomai. denied.

how often do we deny Him? (notice, i don't ask IF we do, but how often.. it's much more realistic a question)

i think by not living out His truth, we deny Him. we deny the words He spoke, the truth He is, because we do not deem His commands worthy of our obedience.

it amazes me that He is creator of all of this! we would not exist were it not for Him, we will spend out eternity worshipping Him, we are because of Him, and yet we fail to spend much effort on Him.

isn't that sad? He's spent more effort on us than we could ever gather unto ourselves, and yet we cannot even get out of bed 30 minutes early to spend time with Him. we won't read about Him, we won't learn about Him, we won't talk with Him.

but then we expect Him to come to our aid or answer our prayers. we treat Him like a genie in a bottle and when we rub the lamp we want our wishes granted.

He will not lower Himself to such a fantasy! He is God of the universe!! and deserves (and yearns) to be treated as such.

how do we deny Him? by not treating Him as the Alpha and the Omega. by calling on His name for the things we want, but forgetting to call on His name because He is worthy of it and it is why we were made.