using resolve all the year-round

it's that time of year for people to make and share their new year's resolutions. i was asked, as usual, if i had any and i had to give them the long answer.

i am in a constant state of change (hopefully for the better). it is my goal to always be learning and growing and improving and seeking higher standards. i want to always be stepping heavenward. i am always striving to become less of me so that i may have more of Him.

all throughout the year and in all situations i am asking God to change me. i am always resolving to become the woman He has designed me to be, to be a better wife, to use my ears more than my mouth, to be kinder and gentler and to put others ahead of myself. i ask to have sensitive hearing so i can recognize the spirit's voice to lead me, i want the heart of Christ to beat within my own chest, and i long for the day when i can finally lay all of these struggles down and simply revel in the presence of The One i love most of all: my Creator, my Redeemer, my Master and my Friend.

because of this, i don't think that one day out of 365 is any better a day than the next to become a better person. my resolve renews nearly daily, sometimes hourly. why wait so long between re-committing your heart to God's desires for you?

soo.... having said that [as i step down from my soap box] i will clue you in to the top resolves that i carry with me into this exciting new decade.

be second
my oh my oh my but those two little words carry immense weight. it is so hard to bite my tongue when i know i'm right, but being second means not showing off how much i know or how little others ...don't. it is trying to not step in when i can do something better than someone else, but being second means allowing someone else the learning experience, your encouragement and a safe environment to mess up in. it is painful to leave the comfort of my favorite ____ [fill in the blank] so someone else can enjoy the comfort or favorite or the best or the most. and it is so not fun to leave my lovely sleep to get up early and spend time with The One who is rightfully first, the Alpha. i want to lay all of my preferences and comforts and "but"s down at Christ's feet so that others can have theirs and so i may in some way connect with them and love them with the love of Jesus and point the way to eternal life and amazing love.

be a better wife
this one has a lot to do with the first one because when i am second, i treat my husband nicer, kinder, more loving, and i do things for him that he didn't ask me to do, and i seek for ways to show him that i am thinking of him... all when i am tired or hungry or sore or busy. but not just that. i want to constantly lift him up to the Father, to claim blessing and righteousness for him on his behalf. i want to show my absolute adoration for God through the way i treat my husband.

let others in
in order for people to know what Christ has done for me, they need to know the before to truly appreciate the after. i need to let people see the mistakes and the failures and grime so they can understand how much cleansing and healing and grace God has given me. there is no other way to show someone a changed life if you do not let them into that life, tool around in it, poke it, test it, peel it and boil it down to what it really and truly is. i want to be able to let people so in that they can tell my own story as if it's they watched it happen before their very eyes.

write more
not just blog here, although that, too. i am always thinking of things to say (hah - refer to first item where i need to use my ears more than my mouth) but i don't usually take the time to blog it. a shame really. but i also want to spend more time on my writing - doing spoken or written word, poetry, inspirational pieces. i loved doing the scripts for the 'i am second' series we did at mckinney fellowship. i ended up spending a lot of time in prayer and research putting them together resulting in some incredible worshipful times for me. yes, i definitely want to spend more time on that!

follow the spirit's leading
i want to be able to hear God's voice so well that i am confident of whose it is the moment i hear it. and that i would honor and love Him so much that i would drop my plans, change my direction, abort my mission if it differed any from what i was being asked to do. i want to follow Him even if it makes no sense to me, or my family thinks i'm crazy (i'm sorry - how is that different from things now?), or everyone is giving me warnings or threats that i'm ruining my life. i know my Lord knows best and i want to lay every intuition and logic behind me if it sways me from where He is and where He wants me to go. i guess this really should be captioned "follow the spirit's leading no matter the cost."

shut up and listen
refer once again to the first item where i mentioned using my ears more. but because my head is thick i felt this deserved another mention. 'nuff said. cause i'm listening now. sshh!

that's about it for now. my constant resolves. i pray over them and seek to live them. all throughout the year.

btw - the short answer is "no".