10,000 hours of evil

yesterday i was in jeremiah for my daily reading. chapter 4, verse 22 says,

"For my people are foolish;
they know me not;
they are stupid children;
they have no understanding.
They are 'wise'—in doing evil!
But how to do good they know not." (Jeremiah 4:22 ESV)

wise in doing evil. ouch.

i read this book called outliers that said research shows that in order to become an expert in something - like the unusual genius kind - you have to put in at least 10,000 hours into it. that somehow that is the magic number - that much time - is what separates the 'greats' from the rest of us. all the 'greats' have put in the time, from musicians to athletes to software engineers.

and in order to put 10,000 hours into something, i would think your life would show it. like - you would appear obsessed to others. they would see you pouring so much time into something and be like - dude, get a life.

so when i saw where it said they are wise in doing evil, i thought, hmmmm. i wonder if they are so wise in it because they have spent so much time in it. i wonder if they have spent 10,000 hours doing evil and that is how they know it so well in order to be wise in it.

and i thought about my own life. as of today i have lived 14,942 days. that's 358,608 hours. out of those let's say i was awake for 239,072 of them (figuring i slept 8 hours every night).

239,072 hours is plenty of time to put in 10,000 hours of evil (sinning). i am certain i have. does that make mean i am an expert at it? i've put in the time!

my prayer then, is to reverse that horrible damage... to put in the time to become an expert in obedience to God. i want to be wise in righteousness, not in evil.

that means i gotta put in the time, log in those hours. i can't just stuff a prayer into my 15 minute commute every day and say, i'm radically following Christ. no... there's a commitment that is deeper than just living the way we want under the title of Christian.

Father, may i be willing to always put you first over other things that demand my attention and focus. may i pour out myself for you - give you my time, my thoughts, my life. may i learn You and your ways so much that people thing - dang girl, get a life. and i pray they would know that You - YOU! - are my life.

the brightest reflection

this morning i was reading in acts 19 where it talks about God doing miracles through paul, so much so that in verse 12 it says that,

even handkerchiefs or aprons that had touched his skin were carried away to the sick, and their diseases left them and the evil spirits came out of them

sometimes i get crazy amazed and filled with wonder all over again when i see a bright moon shining down, alighting the night. my husband probably gets tired of hearing me say, "isn't that amazing?.. that's the SUN making that moon so bright. it's because of the sun's light reflecting off that moon that gives us light in the night. isn't that amazing?!?" he's heard me say it at least 50 times.

but it's because it seriously blows me away. you know those nights, right? where the moon is shining so bright you can hardly look at it and it lights up the night like you've got a lamp turned on. the sun is THAT bright. man oh man.

well, when i read that verse about paul, i thought. wow - that blows me away, that God is THAT powerful, he is THAT miraculous that his power and healing are reflecting off paul and lighting the darkness around him. so much so that people don't even have to come into contact with him, only with things that he's touched!!!

it's like God is the sun reflecting off the paul-moon. and then paul becomes a sun himself, reflecting off all the things he touches that get carried to others who get healed by them. a reflection of a reflection. God is THAT bright that his power is still healing after two iterations of reflections.

doesn't that kinda blow your mind?

and we get to participate. we get to reflect Him.

hunh. pretty rockin'

my portion

i woke up this morning to a scripture my cousin texted me. it's in psalm 73:26

my flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

and it got me to thinking - what is a portion, really?

i asked God to help me understand what that really means and i started looking through some commentaries on logos bible (great resource!) and to sum it up they basically refer to God being our inheritance. our FULL inheritance. that he is the portion of what we will receive. but don't worry - you'll get plenty! this isn't some weight watcher's portion. you are getting the almighty, holy, dangerous, beautiful God of the universe as your portion. that's a portion that won't fit on your plate!!

he is our daily supply. he is sufficient for anything we might need. he covers it... and then he overflows it. we get ALL of him (not only his grace, not only his love or his promises. we get Jehovah himself!) and he is ALL our portion (within the circle of all that we possess or desire, there is none but him. he isn't just part of my portion, he is my portion). he holds nothing back and we need nothing else.

some others may have their portion elsewhere - in their money, their success, their children, their dreams... but when we have God, in him we have more than any of that can give us. there are griefs in this world deeper than any money can alleviate. but God!... oh he is more than what we need when we hurt or grieve or weary or run. he is more than enough.

when we declare that the Lord is our Lord, we really should continue to keep that in mind and take comfort of it. and live up to it.

yesterday in cgroup, my dear friend lynde challenged us to spend 70 minutes with God (10 minutes a day for 7 days) and to journal about it. i thank my friend for caring about us so much that she gives us a challenge that will put us right into the midst of God every day, to soak in his words and let them change who we are. to fall deeper for him and to recognize that he is all we need.

while reading through commentaries on my quest to understand "the Lord is my portion" i came across this...

great blessing belongs to those who read and understand the word of God, and more blessed is the man whose life is the practical transcript of the will of God as revealed in the scriptures.

oh, that my life is a practical transcript of the will of God, and that i remain in his word in order to know what that looks like. and that i immerse myself in him and that nothing less will satisfy me!

the Lord is my portion. i am rich indeed.

what i learned at the collin classic 2011

today i rode in the collin classic, a rural bike ride rally here in, well, collin county. it seems that every time i take on a challenge like this, i end up learning a lot about myself in the process. how can you not? you spend the whole time pretty much alone. well, i do anyway. i'm the girl everyone else passes on their way up the hills. it provides me a lot of get-to-know-me time.

what i learned at the collin classic 2011

i'm in no shape whatsoever to do the collin classic. well, i might be in a little bit of shape, but not for the ride i chose to do. my girlfriends and i decided we would shoot for the 48 mile ride. i only pedaled 38 of them. if i'm going to continue attempting these rides i'm not only going to have to be biking more regularly (which means riding more than saturday mornings to and from breakfast with said girlfriends. and let's face it, those rides are really about the breakfast, know what i'm sayin'?) but i'm also going to have to build up my sad little muscles with * gasp! * exercise. [do NOT tell lisa i said that. she'll hold me to it.]

i'm really allergic! i took my claritin this morning, but all the pollin in the wind still made parts of my skin complain. i brought along some benadryl cream for just this very thing and had to apply it several times to the insides of my elbows to keep the rash down.

my dad died from a heart attack, but that was the final result of what started as an allergic reaction. he couldn't breathe, tried to open up his pipes with steam from a shower, but it wasn't helping. he was rushed to the ER where he turned blue, collapsed, and passed away. i take allergies very seriously, and commit to doing what i can to stay reaction-free. this was a good reminder that i was prepared, but still oh-so-susceptible.

i understand my body. i rounded a curve and looked up. there was a big hill in front of me. a big one. with several smaller ones between me and it to get me all tired up first before i reached it. my body spoke up. i listened and pulled over, grabbed a protein bar and chomped it. turns out, it was just what i needed to fuel me up that hill. i've always been kind of sensitive to my body's voice. i know when i'm about to get sick. i know when something is just slightly 'off'.

this fleshy wrapper i come in, it's a unique machine. God's incredible creation! and i get to know it personally and wear this miracle every day. i know my body, and that kind of amazes me.

i can usually do more than i think i can. even with such a small ride, i had moments were i was ready to give up early. it was hot, i was tired, my muscles were angry. and i would still ride. i wonder why. i don't think of myself as someone with stamina. i'm physically very weak. but i have found that when it boils down to it, i don't give up so easily (that's not to say that i don't ever give up... just not right away. HA!).

it helps when i'm lost in my thoughts and praying and next-thing-i-know another mile is behind me.

it also helps being stubborn.

i'm steady. this was the one that seemed to be the theme of the ride. when all the others were passing me up those hills, i just kept pedaling. it was the slowest pace, but i just kept pedaling. and when everyone else's coast stride was greater than mine and they were still benefitting from the downhills and not having to pedal, i just kept pedaling. i would look over sometimes and see the riders with the really cut calves [as they were passing me] and i thought, 'you know, i'm not strong. but i am steady.'

at that one point when i pulled over for that protein bar, another rider came up alongside me and chatted with me, making sure i was ok. and he had a misting cap on his water bottle and misted me with it while we talked. he encouraged me by saying that i was doing well and that i was steady. and i thought, what a confirmation. thanks, God!

then later someone else mentioned it.

and even later, a hawaiian-looking man that had passed me after every rest stop before beating me to the next one, resting longer than me, then passing me again,.. said, "there you are again. you're steady."

"steady," i repeated out loud. and kept pedaling.

i may not be strong, but i am steady.

i am the tortoise in aesop's fable. i will just plod, plod along. laugh and dance around me if you want, rabbit, but i will keep plodding and i will get there. i don't have to be first and i don't have to be best. i'll just be steady and get there.

charlotte - my first non-usa donation

i am knitting the charlotte sweater from the gorgeous dauphine (#14) book. first of all: beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!

one evening, several times, i read the decrease directions for the tops of the sleeves and i couldn’t figure it out. it just made no sense. i had to sleep on it and look at it again the next morning. no sense. and then again when i got home from work. nothing! in fact, i thought it was an error and googled “louisa harding pattern corrections”. the links i saw didn’t result in any corrections for the charlotte pattern. so i googled “louisa harding charlotte pattern corrections” and one of the first few links i saw took me to this purse pattern:



the funny thing is: i’m actually looking for an easy-to-make purse pattern.

i just got back a couple of weeks ago from africa where i taught orphans, their house moms, and even some of the cooks at the village of hope how to knit. my goal is to provide them with a trade for their futures, and in the meantime i’m going to show them how to make some simple items that can be sold and the money can be put back into the village of hope, so the village can become self-sustaining.

so when i happened upon this purse pattern, i thought, now wouldn’t that be funny if i looked at the charlotte sweater pattern again and it made perfect sense, and the only reason why it didn’t make sense before is because God wanted me to search for a correction and find this purse pattern??

and i swear to you i looked at the pattern again and i actually read it correctly and went, “OH! THAT’S what it’s saying, i've been reading it wrong.”

so.. as you may imagine, i couldn’t just let that go. there had to be a reason for it. i couldn't not do anything.

so i messaged the designer of the pattern (through ravelry, a site for knitters and crocheters. love it. if you're not on it, get on it. if you are - find me. i'm orangesque). i laid out this very story and asked her if she would be willing to donate the pattern for the kids to use and make product to sell for a profit for the village.

after several days of not hearing from her, i thought - ok. maybe i was just putting that in front of her for God to move her in another way (for i had no doubt God's hand was in this). i just prayed about it and if i heard from her - great! - and if i didn't, well that was great, too.

then i finally got an answer: "i would be honored."

she emailed me the pattern and even gave me permission to customize or embellish. and of course, she would love to see some of the finished pieces.

she's from england and so this is my first non-usa donation for this incredible knitting project.

OH! i cannot WAIT to teach the kids how to make this and then send photos back to louisa and i pray that she is blessed by her generosity.

and i am once again marinating in God's goodness and the truly amazing ways He works. that i even get to participate in this thrills me.

as an aside - here is another pattern i am going to teach the kids to make. heck - i'd wear it!!

the gift of joy

as we prepared for our last trip to the village of hope, i received a call from a friend telling me her child wanted to come by my work and donate her own money toward our fundraising. that child's name is joy and this is the story of her gift.

all of the first grade students at mcgowen elementary (among many others, i presume) received $1 each as part of the rachel's challenge project. the children were challenged to 'do good'...

at the bottom of the letter it says, Do something good. Do something great. Do something!

a dollar is a big deal to a first grader. well, to just about any kid. so to be told to do something with it (give it away?) is probably an even bigger deal. so what would joy do with her dollar?

several weeks prior to this, joy had learned in promiseland at christ fellowship about the children at the village of hope in uganda. and she learned that the offering collected from the kids in promiseland goes right to the village, so children are helping children.

to help educate the 'kids here' about the 'kids there' and what their offering money helps to accomplish, my husband came to promiseland one sunday to talk about the village and answer questions.



i was in the back and i recognized quite a few of the kids there, including joy.

apparently, she's been giving her very own money to the village of hope through promiseland for a while, which was later a surprise to her parents. she did it all on her own out of very big heart.

so... armed with this new dollar bill from her school, joy decides she wants to give to the village of hope, through donating it to our trip there. but at one point, she decided that $1 wasn't enough and she sat down to count out some of her own money. in quarters.



it got ziplocked up (but not after she got her mom to give some quarters of her own!) and hand delivered to me.

there was a moment where she thought about taking some of it back, but in the end gave all of her intended gift.



her mom prepped me before the visit so i knew what was up. good thing - or i would have blubbered all over the place. but i at least held it together until after they left. i couldn't stop hugging her though.

and perhaps it was my excitement at her gift, perhaps she experienced that true and lovely blessing God provides when we give of ourselves and our possessions, but there was talk of her wanting to give even more.

the baggie containing a one dollar bill and nineteen dollars in quarters helped pay for our trip to see the children where they began to learn to knit, learned to trust us more, and even shared some of their stories. we discipled them, loved on them, ate and slept with them. we showed them God's love and talked to them about how to honor him. we poured ourselves out for them.



it seems joy's gift went a long way. all the way to africa and back.

it also went deep. into my heart, scattering seeds of generosity and child-like faith. maybe it will make it into yours, too.

i hope mcgowen elementary knows where that dollar went and how it grew into something good. something great. Something!!

and i hope God blesses the little girl who gave what she had - away - to help others.

i am joy-inspired!!

the knitting debrief

  


robyn, aka the minimalist knitter, asked me how the knitting project went in uganda. my response came from the first time i've sat down to write anything out. so i'm including it here as an update:


robyn,

wow!

where do i begin? it was really awesome! here are a few photos




when the house moms saw me teaching the kids, they wanted to learn too. and when the kitchen workers saw me teaching the house moms, they wanted to learn too. even the ugandan director picked up some sticks and gave it a try. and so did the full time missionary woman who is living out there with her husband. everyone wanted in on it.

they were very good at learning the process and i laid out some foundational knitting for them. by the time we left, one of the house moms nearly had a scarf made!

each session would last several hours because the girls wouldn't stop knitting until the house moms told them to - either it was time for dinner or time for chores. and the time would go by so quickly (and quietly... it absorbed them).



on a seemingly unrelated note, we took some time to sit with the head mistress (principal) of their school to discuss how we can support them in the future with lessons, etc. we wanted what we teach them to supplement what the teachers were teaching, and that hopefully we could bring more ESL into it and maybe bring things from america that weren't readily available in uganda (like weather implements such as wind socks). when she presented us with the upcoming curriculum, it turned out that some of the art elements for the next two terms are knitting and crocheting. hmm... i can help with that.

then we were looking at some of the items that the village has been able to sell to help support themselves, like the bead project, and they were asking if i could teach the kids how to make things that would be marketable to sell. hmm... i can help with that, too!

so it seems that this knitting project (that has by far outgrown me) can be helpful in ways i hadn't considered.

i received several boxes from people saying they heard about me through your blog and it blessed me beyond measure that they would simply give! they don't know me. and they may not even know you. but they just... gave. their generosity and willingness to partner with me was touching and i found myself several times just tearing up for lack of a better response.



we took over 75 sets of needles and over 100 pounds of yarn to africa and i still have some stuff left over in my spare room (i saved the boucle and fuzzy yarns for later as it didn't lend itself well to beginner's efforts).

upon my return i found another box had been delivered in my absence and another box landed on my doorstep the next day. the generosity continues.

my next step, as i continue to collect donated materials, is to gather some patterns for products that will sell (mostly to americans that visit the village or to be sold here in the states), and hopefully items that can incorporate some of the beads. one idea i had is to have the kids make a basic pouch purse with a drawstring at the top and use beads at the ends of the drawstrings. maybe finish it with fringe at the bottom with beads, too.

if you or any of your readers have pattern ideas or submissions they would be greatly appreciated. :)

one last note: my husband and i sponsor four of the kids there. two girls and two boys. the two girls are both named vicky and one of them had been very closed off when we were there last. that may have even contributed to me being so drawn to her. i tend to be a little standoffish (shy) myself. since our last visit i've sent her some letters and prayed for her regularly.

a few days into our visit this time, she gave me a note that said she wanted to share her story with me. she led me around to the side of her home, sat me down, and began to tell me. it was... heartbreaking. no child in that village has a pretty story. it was all i could do not to cry (for fear of it being translated to her that i pity her).

the fact that she shared with me speaks of incredible trust. when we returned, it spoke volumes to those kids. it said we will be back for them. they can trust that. they can trust US. and they did... she wasn't the only one who opened up to me.

but it also told me that they are receiving such good care, such good, godly, healthy care, that they are healing from past hurts and beginning to open up. it was a beautiful testimony of how God can restore even the most broken of us. his love can 'knit' back together a heart with more fractures than we can count. yes, he knits! i am my Father's daughter. :)

thanks for all you have and are doing to push this project forward and increase awareness of the village of hope. i'm astounded by your kindness.

with gratitude,

trace

gifted to give

when jon and i returned from our first trip to uganda last august, our hearts were agitated. we wanted to do something. to be of help to the children at the village of hope.

we joked (ok, i joked. jon may have been quite serious!) about moving to uganda, building our own hut in the village and serving the children and workers of the village. but i knew that wasn't what God had in store for us (at least in this season!), for what could we offer them but to become a burden to them?

we would require food, shelter, protection and many other necessities we couldn't possibly foresee, in exchange for... what? i cannot teach these girls how to grow up to be successful women in their culture - because i don't know their culture. i can teach them how to be an american woman. but what good is that in the middle of uganda with no running water or electricity? it would be disastrous!

and i couldn't consider bringing them here to america. at the village of hope they are receiving such great care. they are learning how to become pillars of their society and uphold their country. they can very possibly grow up to turn their country around. why would i pluck them from that only to raise them far from their land? they were born ugandan for a reason. i need to be sensitive to that and respect that.

and so i quandaried over what i had to offer these precious ones, for i so wanted to be of help to them.

days later our team had lunch with cindy cunningham, founder and director of the village of hope, and i mentioned that i had almost brought my knitting on the airplane with me to keep me occupied (i backed out for fear of it being confiscated at the airport), and wondered aloud if i could have taught the kids to knit while i was there. cindy replied saying that would have been great as it would be teaching them a trade - a way to make a living and provide for their futures.

lightbulb!

this was how i could help them - this is what i could offer. out of so many things i cannot give them, this -- this!! was something i could provide. and it can have lasting value for them. and i know not all of them will keep it up, but some of them will. they will take to it as i have, loving to learn it and explore it. and some of them will even be able to knit products to sell and perhaps earn a living from it. and i get to help with that!

and so it was decided that i will teach the children to knit.

i've collected a couple of very basic patterns - one is for a dishcloth and the other is for a hat. i have knitted or received some samples from both patterns so they can see what we will be making. and began to think about how to get enough yarn and needles and accessories for 150 children. a daunting thought!

but then, when God has a plan, He also has a way of executing it. and i am excited to see how He is going to provide. perhaps... perhaps YOU are part of that plan. maybe you have stash yarn or needles you don't use anymore. maybe you have a circle of knitting pals that you could mention this project to. maybe you want to help in ways i haven't even thought to ask. [i'm smiling here, because i know God loves to provide in ways that delight us. i know He will show up and 'be big' and i get to watch it all unfold before my eyes.]

if you would like to be a part of this knitting project - here are a few resources or ways you can help:

• Knitting Project Flier (on facebook)
• looking for: yarn, knitting needles and finishing items, such as scissors and tapestry needles
• you can mail to me or i will pick up if you are in the north dallas area - email me
• we still have just over $2000 to raise for our trip. perhaps you'd like to donate to the trip
• there is another trip scheduled for july/august. perhaps you'd like to be a part of it
• pray! pray pray pray. you can join our prayer partners group on FB

i am just a small girl with a couple of needles and a big ole heart. i just wanna do some good with what i have. Lord - take what you have given me and use it to your glory and to increase your fame. let me be part of your plan to care for the orphans and the widows. and may i never mar your reputation, but that others would see you in me and desire you.