God's fingerprints

struggle. challenge. tough time.

we have different words for it, here in the world. but i believe the heavenly realm calls it - a call to submit.

for weeks it has been my prayer to submit to whatever it is God wants me to do, to serve however it is He has designed me to serve, to use the gifts, talents, skills, experience He has provided, right back to Him for His glory.

prayers come with consequences. you know that, right?

when you pray for something, like say... patience. He provides you an opportunity to learn it, to put it to practice, to hone it.

so i prayed to submit. and i find a plethora of opportunity that awaits my submission.

i also prayed to be humbled. again - more serving of humility than i can fit into my mouth.

and yet God continues to be tender with me. His abounding love is everywhere i look.

i was talking with a girlfriend of mine this evening. and i shared my challenges i've faced over the last few weeks. i was open with her about my struggle with pride and the need to be humbled. and my prayer to simply do what God wants me to do. and i even shared this journey i've been on the last year and a half and how at the beginning of it i just wasn't in the place where i could have told her point blank about the struggles i was going through and the pride that i was still hanging onto.

and she said something to me that still makes me tearful to recall even now. she said that she has seen God's work in me. oh, can it be true? can i truly be molding in His hands? have i truly yielded to become closer to the woman He wants me to be?

i don't deserve to have such 'success'. mainly because i cannot take any of the credit. my sweet advocate, the Holy Spirit of my Father, the Spirit of Truth - He deserves the credit. He guides me when i balk at being guided. He leads me when i have lost my way yet again. He is loving and tender when i'm being obstinate and selfish. He has His work cut out for Him with me, i assure you.

He is risking His very reputation by being associated with me! i can never bring Him justice.. i can never repay Him.. i can never give Him enough love or obedience to make it worth it for Him. it is only by His grace and love that He would do this.

i held onto those words she gave me. and prayed "God - is it possible? that people can see your fingerprints on me?" how i hope it is true.

if others see Him when they look at me, then isn't it all worth the struggle.. the challenge.. the tough time? if i am drawn closer to Him, then isn't it worth it? wherein, then, likes the 'struggle'? (i'll give you a little hint: pride).

it's been my prayer that i would be stripped of my pride. and that i would want to lay my agenda down and be submitted to Him wholly no matter what that looks like. and that i would want to want to!

i am determined to continue praying that prayer, knowing prayers have consequences and i 'risk' further spiritual development and all the pain that comes with it. because, yes, the answer is that it is worth it to be covered in His fingerprints.