the safety of my home

we're studying luke right now in the series called 'the heart of the matter'. this past week's lesson talked about the widow's gift to God - which was simply two small coins but was all she had to live on. and one of the discussion questions was about what we are doing to help people in need, and what would God say about what we are doing?

and it got me to thinking about how i am such a homebody. i like being home. home makes me happy. when i am away from home i miss it. i miss my cats, i miss the familiar surroundings, i yearn to return.

so when i give, it is usually out of the comfort of my home that i give.

it's like this: we tithe. it has been our joy to be able to give back to God what is His and we recognize that He has carried us through an immensely stressful financial period of our lives, and continues to do so. what right do we have to keep any money that is His? so we tithe. probably not enough, according to the widow's mite.

we also want to give an offering to a ministry jon is heavily involved in. that is over and above our tithe, we feel appropriately so.

and we are willing to open our home to someone who needs it - someone who cannot stay in their own home right now. we've prayed about fostering for some time now, and we feel this situation is something God's been preparing us for and that we should step up, so we've offered our home and we are simply going to wait in obedience for confirmation that it will happen.

but giving money and offering our home is still within our comfort zone.

someone might look at me and say - are you crazy? inviting a teenager that isn't family into your home? your whole home life will be turned upside down.

true. but i'm still home. this is my refuge, my place i find solace. how much of a sacrifice is it, then, if i am still home?

maybe i'm too hard on myself and giving my homelife up to a huge change will truly be a sacrifice, but i know me. and i know that a true sacrifice in the world of trace is being away from home.

could it be that God has given us this house we live in as a resource to reach out to people and share His grace and provision with others? is that the calling? or is there more God is preparing me for? is there more stepping out in faith to come and this is just a stepping stone of faith?

i guess what i'm saying is, as much as i want to say i am sacrificing for Him (giving to Him everything i have to live on, as the widow did), is it truly a sacrifice, is it truly all i have, if i am still in the comfort of 'home'?

i'd like to say it is. but something in me knows that i would much rather give all i have and get to stay at home, then to give little bits here and there and not have home. where, then, is the sacrifice?

pondering these things, and praying to be faithful in all things.