sight for sore eyes

i had laser surgery a year and a half ago to correct my vision. there were a few minor hiccups in the process due to my excessively dry eyes, but nothing they didn't warn me about. and once everything finally got 'straightened out' (they had to do a lift-and-smooth because one of my corneal flaps wrinkled - i shudder at the memory) it was finally a delight to wake up in the mornings to a clear view of... everything!

i mean, i could really see! i didn't have to squint or focus hard - things were just right there - before my very eyes.

if you've ever needed glasses (and really needed them. not like what i tease my dot about: i tell him that looking through his glasses is like looking through a window) then you know what a dream it was to not have to futz with any of that stuff anymore. no more contacts or solutions, no more wiping (smearing) dirty lenses,.. none of that.

i could see! and oh it was wonderful. for days upon days after the surgery i would remark with awe, "i can't believe i can see". those little precious moments where i can recall being just giddy over my un-aided vision.

it was pure, unadulterated sight.

it was the blind man seeing.

it was the veil being removed.

it is going away.

yes, i am sad to report that the world is growing blurry again and i am on day 6 of a headache. now the headache could be due to the atmosphere - i get sinusitis so easily you could whisper the word in my general direction and it would flare up. and the blurriness could be due to dryness. i've been trying to lubricate my eyes - i use a dot of vasolinesque product in my eyes at night and a lighter gel drop during the day which is still more hefty than saline or wetting drops. but what if that's not it?

what if i spent all that money, time, and energy fixing my vision to just have it get worse again in 18 months? why on earth would i sink that many resources into something that brings me right back to where i was in the first place? it's a pointless, hopeless waste!

maybe it's my fault. i haven't had my eyes checked since i left the laser center. i should be taking much better care of these eyes that need to last me my lifetime. is it something i should have done differently? should i have been hydrating them more regularly (or at all)? should i stop staring at a computer screen for hours on end? do i need to eat more carrots?

***

remember when you became a christian? and it seemed like everything came suddenly and sharply to focus and you were giddy with delight over what was so clear to you now that hadn't been before?

remember how you noticed that you could see things for what they were.. that you saw situations or people or yourself through a different light?

remember the clarity, and the focus and how the veil was removed?

how're you doin' with that? still got that eagle eye? or have things blurred?

i think our spiritual vision requires maintenance and upkeep just as our physical vision does. maybe we require some hydration - living water that quenches eternal. maybe we need to give them a break - fasting from the good to make room for the best (do you need to tear your eyes away from email, facebook, and twitter for a day to reset your eyes on Him)? what about those carrots - you seeking nourishment? you can't see properly if you don't have your eyes fixed on Him. i'm just sayin'.

i've got an appointment with the eye doctor next week. a good ole checkup just to make sure things are hunkey dorey. you getting checkups? do you have someone keeping you accountable to what you allow to fill your mind and your heart through what you see? all day long we input input input. and as a result, whether we think about it or not, we process process process. and filter filter filter. who's making sure the processing and filtering are working? and that the input isn't taking in things it shouldn't? let's not wait to see what we output output output to determine if we're still in good shape.

oh that tongue of ours can get us into trouble - we know that - but that's our output mechanism. before it comes to that, i want to challenge all of you to 'be careful little eyes what you see' and to care for the vision we have lest we lose it to misuse or lack of.

ultimately - keep your eyes fixed on Him.